Humility and mental wellness

art carving close up crown

I read the fourth chapter of The Book of Daniel this morning.

I wondered if King Nebechadenezer had immediately humbled himself before God, as Daniel suggested, if things would have  been different for him. Specifically the dream he had (a prophetic picture of him ‘going mad’ and his kingdom being taken from him) — could that prophetic dream have been avoided?

Well in the end, King N didn’t listen to Daniel and the dream came true. Quite suddenly too. One minute the King is on his palace roof gloating over all he accomplished and the next minute he is out of the palace and out of his mind eating grass and letting his fingernails grow like eagle talons.

After a long time of that King Nebuchadnezzar ‘looked to Heaven’ and ‘his reason was returned to him.’ As was the kingdom and his humility before the one true God.

I have written several times now about a book I am reading, by Patrick Carnes, called The Betrayal Bond. 

He goes into some detail about the role of hubris in forming a trauma bond. An example being a child believing she is special because daddy has ‘chosen only her’ to have a special (abusive) relationship. I could relate very much. I just shared with my therapist that as distrustful as I was of my own family I believed the world ‘out there’ was what I really couldn’t trust.

It is difficult to admit but when I look back at my childhood, no matter what happened in my home, I believed we were better than other people. I’m not sure if that was an unspoken rule thing or just my own sinful nature trying to hide from feelings of shame.

For much of my life I was like a queen, walking the rooftop my ancestors had built, surveying all that was going on and still having the hubris to declare that it was better than anything else on earth.

In light of that delusion I was under, I am actually thankful that my mind broke. There probably wouldn’t have been any other way for me to see the truth of it all.

Gods Kingdom is the only good Kingdom. The things man builds are rife with betrayal, abuse, hubris and all sorts of other madness.

 

Author: justsaltwriter

I am a writer living in America. A Christian hoping to live up to that name. This is my anonymous blog. I am in recovery from abuse and on this blog I will touch on those topics. I hope to obey Jesus and let my light shine in a world which is growing ever darker.

6 thoughts on “Humility and mental wellness”

  1. Interesting, for me it was quite the opposite. I could only trust the people beyond my own front door. I never felt like royalty, quite the opposite. Deplorable from the outset. I always felt a burning shame and feeling of leprosy about me. Untouchable, unlovable. Seems as if my mind must have broken as a toddler…

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    1. I can relate actually as it was that for me as well. It was all of it. There was incredible tension in my head trying to make sense of things and believing as bad as it was but others were worse and would be worse to be was magical thinking. in real life I certainly never felt like royalty, but I spent most of my time in fantasy in my head. It was the magical thinking (to survive the abuse) which ‘went there’. Coupled by multiple adult males frequently telling me I was special to them, now and then. And then abusing me and treating me like dirt. Incredible tension resulted. Magical thinking was a frequent option I chose to minimize that tension.

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      1. I understand. The best my magical thinking/ fantasy could come up with was to have a safe grown up remove me from my house of horrors and adopt me. Part of me believed that I’d i was good enough, kind enough, sweet enough, loving enough, someone would rescue me. It’s just that… it never happened. I never was rescued. I was left to endure more abuse and so by my own fallacious reasoning, I believed I was unlovable.

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    1. Lol— I got what you meant!! And also can relate. Again: my feeling of being a queen was my magical thinking, and contributed to the tension in my head and heart. The feeling of worthlessness and needing to change myself so I can be worthy and measure up (be sweeter, kinder, etc) is also ongoing. I’ve battled tons of shame, but that sucker is a nasty beast. It morphes and slithers and convinces me to believe all sorts of lies.
      ‘Adam and Eve were naked and KNEW NO SHAME’ — my favorite Bible verse and one I repeat often.

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