What is our work?

Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.” John 6:29

God impressed the simplicity of this verse upon my heart over a decade ago; when I was frantically trying to prove myself as His disciple. When I read the verse in context — I noted that the disciples asked this of our Lord shortly after He had performed many miracles. Perhaps they were wondering how they would ever be able to do the miraculous work Jesus was doing.

I was feeling similar at the time–wondering how in the world I was going to serve God as the saints of old had done. How was I going to evangelize, partake in miracles, raise children, keep myself unstained from the world and somehow still put food on the table too? The freedom that came to me in our Lord’s response, John 6:29, was so very welcome to me in that moment that it became a cornerstone verse for me going forward. I began to repeat that verse aloud every time I felt that niggling in my gut that I ‘wasn’t doing enough’ for the kingdom.

“A person who has not done one half his day’s work by ten o’clock, runs a chance of leaving the other half undone.” Emily Bronte.

I came across this quote just this morning and it gave me a niggling trace of guilt. I was reminded me of the extremely productive person I once had been. These days I am someone who spends hours each week in passivity–often just listening (not even evangelizing) to various people who find their way to my back porch.

I try to do home improvement projects and I garden a lot every summer. But those things often get interrupted and remain unfinished. Either by company stopping or my own limitations. I still work outside the home and go into the office in the afternoons when it is needed– (I am a business owner. But I stepped away from the daily grind when I got sick several years ago. My husband still does the heavy lifting for the both of us at our business).

I changed because I had no choice. When I got hit with crippling PTSD, I knew I had to make some changes to my workaholic ways as that was only making me worse.

I began leaning into the day slowly. As anyone who has suffered from an anxiety disorder can tell you — it is the most debilitating upon first waking. For months I forced myself to relax and just stay home, cancel appointments, etc., until the anxiety lessened and finally went away. I wake up calm these days as I no longer have PTSD or an anxiety disorder.

But I continue to lolly-gag at home in the mornings. Slowly emptying the dishwasher and doing a load of laundry, letting my mind fill with the thoughts God puts there, and the Bible verses that come to my heart. Sitting down eventually and reading a devotion and daily Bible reading- or looking up the verse that came to me upon waking. Doing some writing now and then. Gardening, house work, baking, cooking- all of that– alone. With Jesus, of course. In the early hours before the phone rings or someone knocks on the door.

I find this easing into the day approach gives plenty of opportunity for pondering the things of God, as well as spontaneous singing out in worship. The contrast of these slow and quiet mornings compared to my years of getting piles of ‘work’ done before ten, (lest I not get anything done at all –highlights all the ways the world intrudes upon a morning — with its rushing about, it’s appointments, it’s buzzing and ringing phones and other siren calls to either ‘be productive’ or to waste time in utter distractions…

Parts of my belief system (like an entrenched Midwestern Work Ethic that ties value up in one’s ability to make money) are still so entrenched in my heart that I automatically return to them when reading things like that Emily Bronte quote above. And then God’s truth slowly settles me down again.

Because if the work of God is believing in the one whom He sent (Jesus); then spending a slow morning at home IS actually far more productive, from a Kingdom mindset, then rushing about getting as much ‘worldly’ work done as I can before the crux point hour of ten a.m.

I know, from past experience, that if I do not spend my early mornings with God, then chances are good that I will not spend much time at all with Him during the rest of the day.

 

 

 

What if everything already happened?

I had a conversation with a friend years ago. She said she had this quiet feeling deep inside that a lot of the end of the world ‘stuff’ had already happened and everyone (in Christian circles, mainly) was missing it and that either made God laugh or annoyed Him.

Based on other things she says, and does, and her general state of being fallen away (from Jesus) now: I don’t give her words as much credit as I once did. I gave them a great deal of credit at the time she told me that. Back then most everyone in my life was a regular ‘church attender’. She was not. However, I recognized there was something in her which actually seemed more concerned with following God than others I knew (although when pressed: she didn’t seem to know how she felt about Jesus.).

I was waking up to the fact that church attenders may not actually ponder the deep things of God, or think all that much about how to really follow Him, aside from that requisite hour or two a week.

This remains for the most part: true — where I live. See, I live in a rural place and I still work in an industry that actually saw a jump in busyness since everything ‘went down’ this past March. Which is one reason why I haven’t been blogging much after I ‘picked’ it back up again this spring!

For two: most of the spare minutes I have are spent looking, anew, at eschatology, (biblical End Times).

I have long been intrigued by preterist view points. But find that I have too many spirit checks to get fully on board with the idea that everyTHING already is past. I consider myself a ‘moderate’ preterist, though.

I also think living as if Jesus’ return is imminent is important, and I don’t get a strong sense of that from the usual preterist theology.

I also think that before I can throw out the pre-tribulation rapture I need to understand and remember something Dave Hunt said (as I updated; in my last post): ‘if the bride isn’t eager for the wedding better call the whole thing off’.

That one gave me major pause. By and large there is not that eagerness in a theology which says it’s ‘all done’…the ‘come Lord Jesus’ sort of falls flat!

My pondering is this: Is it possible to retain that eagerness, without jumping fully into the notion that the rapture occurs before the tribulation? Can we retain the eagerness for a return with a pre-wrath rapture?

What if there is another option, entirely? What if much of the ‘stuff’ has already happened (to quote my aforementioned friend)??

And so I am looking at amillennialism with a great deal of interest now.

I am not saying that the desert fathers were on point with very much at all. Nor am I a fan of the Roman Catholic Church. Quite the opposite. It would be putting it very mildly to say that I remain highly skeptical of both. But in my recent research I stumbled upon the following quotation from the desert fathers. And it really spoke to my spirit.

I find myself wondering if we are now living in the times of ‘satan being unchained’ (Revelation 20). But that is also speculation on my part! Which makes eschatology so difficult. So much of it descends rapidly into presumption.

It is easy for me to see evil unchained given the struggles I have had (health wise and other) for much of my life. It might also explain the explosion in clergy sexual abuse, also happening shortly before my lifetime began and of which I am a survivor myself.

Certainly that is a sign of escalated evil.

And then, of course, there seems to be a massive and mounting deception of the nations. To quote an RN I chatted with recently, “I don’t trust what anyone has to say about this virus, and frankly just don’t believe anyone on either side of it anymore.”

Indeed.